


One-Shots By Jake

by JakeIsABitchTaco (GreyAreaSystem)



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Miraculous Ladybug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-13 10:22:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29524962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreyAreaSystem/pseuds/JakeIsABitchTaco
Summary: More tags to be added~ but I guess that's a givenCongratulations! You've discovered another alter in the same body as the infamous Jae. I'm Jake, and I'm bored as f and I love Batman and I think the direction the MLB storyline is headed is not that cool, but I like the concept as much as Jae does so hey.here I am.Enjoy my chronic insanity.
Relationships: Chloé Bourgeois/Alix Kubdel, Marinette Dupain-Cheng & Nino Lahiffe, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug & Jason Todd
Comments: 19
Kudos: 73





	One-Shots By Jake

“Wait, what are the rules again?” Jason was starting to regret this little outing. He thought he could out-drink any bitch around, he had plenty of experience, but apparently… one does not mess with depressed french teenagers. 

“We go around in a circle. Someone says take a shot for every time you’ve done insert-thing-here, and when you’ve reached your max capacity for shots, you tap out. Last person to tap out wins, first has to take a penalty shot, when they can, which is absolutely disgusting.” Chloé informed him, and they all sat in a circle. 

“And the drink we use is actually mixed, pretty heavily, so we can actually go a long way with these, really.” Kim had nearly a bucket full of various brightly colored drinks. 

He squished himself between his new friend Nino, and one of the girls he had just met, Marinette. She was pretty cute, but had a serious look on her face that made him think he was not about to win this game. 

“I go first, cause I’m the oldest and the awesomest.” Alix, his other new best friend, brought over a tray of shot glasses as they prepared to start. “Take a shot for every time you’ve been an akuma.” Everyone groaned, and took at least one shot, the person with the most taking four. Marinette smirked, and didn’t drink. He didn’t either, but he’d also never been to france.

“Are we going left or right?” Mylene asked. 

“Right.” Alix nodded at her. 

“Alright. Take a shot for every time you’ve seen Jagged Stone live.” Marinette gave her an evil glare. 

“Bitch.” She deadpanned. 

“Ok, seen him live for fun and not for work.” Mylene corrected herself, and Marinette nodded before taking three. 

“You’ve worked for him?” He gave her a mild look of surprise. 

“Yeah, I’m his stylist.” She nodded, munching on some m&m’s absentmindedly like she didn’t just drop the coolest fun fact in history. “Anyway, uh, drink for every time you’ve met Ladybug.” He contemplated that one. Yeah, Red Hood had met the girl, years ago, and she was a slightly more pain in the ass than he cared to admit, but technically  _ Jason _ had never met her. 

“Ugh.” Alya started at her shot glass, and made a face. “I don’t think I can even count that high. I’m out.” 

“Ha! Loser.” Chloé grinned triumphantly.

“Ok, but like, do you mean every time she’s said like one line and then disappeared, or just like every time you’ve had a prolonged conversation? Because one of those numbers is insanely higher than the other.” Nino pointed out. 

“Prolonged conversation.”

“Sweet.”

“Alya, are you still out? Even though the rules changed?” Jason asked, unsure why she would have a number that high. She nodded. 

“I’ve done interviews with her so many times, I probably can’t even count that high sober, much less this far in.” She groaned, wiping at her eyes. 

“Jason, it’s your turn.” 

“Uh, take a shot for… every time you’ve played this game?” He himself took one shot, and the rest took a varying amount. 

“I think… Hold on, I can do this…” Alix squeezed her eyes shut, but then shook her head. “Nope, I’m out.” 

“Hell yeah!” Chloé cheered at her girlfriend's misery. 

“Fuck you.”

“My turn.” Nino interjected before there could be a fight. He leaned around Jason, and stared directly at Marinette. “Take a shot for every bird-themed vigilante you’ve tried to fight.”

_ Well this should be interesting. _

“You wouldn’t.” She hissed. 

“Oh I would.” There was a slight moment of silence, and Chloé took a single shot in the background of their stare-down. 

“I feel like we need context, too, for each shot you take.” Ivan snorted, and Marinette refused to back down, grabbing the bottle. 

“Great idea, Ivan.” She snapped. “One for Robin because he stole my fukcing cat and I had to fight him to get it back. One for Knightowl for calling me a bitch on a class trip in broad daylight. One for Eagle, after she accidently an into me outside of a museum, and I thought she was a mugger, and I put her on her ass. One for Sparrow, after he clipped my head with one of his weird boomerang things, so I threw it back at him, and hit him in the stomach. One for…” She paused as she ran out of glass cups, and had to drink all the ones she poured out already. 

Jason was aware that Eagle and Sparrow were the same person, but it wasn’t like he was going to tell her that. 

“Oh fuck you.” She continued anyway, “One for Nightwing because he dropped a stick on my head, so I pushed him off the roof. One for Red Robin since that asshole had the audacity to correct my english pronunciation so I got mad and tripped him on his way out the door-” He actually remembered that one. Tim had complained about it for a week after that had happened. “One for Hawkgirl when she told me I was dumb so I tried to fight her for being ungrateful I savers  _ her  _ dumb ass, and finally…” She held up the last shot she was gonna take. “One for Black Canary when I mistook her for an akuma, to which I extremely apologized for now knowing who she was.” She hardly even looked fazed after all of that, but the rest of the table looked impressed. He was also a bit impressed, but for completely different reasons. It was like an anti-rogues gallery. A heroes gallery, maybe. 

“I swear to fuck you do this in every city you visit.” Alya sighed deeply, but he didn’t ask any questions, and the game continued. 

Chloé got out not because she couldn’t handle any more alcohol, but because someone said  _ ‘for every time you’ve been outed as a hero’ _ and she refused to take the shot. Surprisingly, Mainrette took one, and Nino told him about the Multimouse incident. She scowled the whole time, though. 

Meylene got out at the same time Ivan did after a question about skipping school back when they were kids and lying about why they left. Apparently, that was too big a number for them. 

Kim left after Marinette got him with the ‘for every time you’ve lost a bet to an animal’. He was almost tempted to ask, ‘does Beast Boy count as an animal’ because he’d lost plenty of stupid bets to him. But he kept his dumb mouth shut, by some miracle. 

Juleka and himself got out when Rose said to take a shot for every time you’ve moved house, and he had bounced around so many places it was nearly impossible to count. Not that he could have gone on much longer, anyways. 

Most people had tapped out by the third time around the circle, and they found it to come down between Marinette and Nino.

“Who’s ready for the showdown of the century.” A very dissociated Alix mumbled. “In which neither of them were allowed to come up with the challenge, it had to be from all of the other people that were out. 

“Every country you’ve been to.”

“Every time an Akuma’s killed you.”

“Everytime you might have lost faith in the Ladybug.” A very messy Rose said through a dramatic frown. 

Nino stared at Marinette, who took a single shot, but didn’t take one himself. 

“Never?” She frowned.

“Nope.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

“You’ve never been in a single Akuma attack, and thought she might not be able to win that one?”

“Not once.” There was a moment of silence. 

“I call bullshit.”

“You can’ just call bullshit on my faith!”

“Yes I can!”

“Actually, I agree with the bullshit.” Sabrina mumbled, her eyes closed and staring at the ceiling. “From that time when Meylene was akumatized and became that monster thing and you totally doubted her theory on emotions and power and the concept that fear makes her stronger, and all that fun stuff.” Nino scowled at her, but Marinette jumped up off her barstool in victory. Apparently, this meant she won… somehow. 

But as she went to do a little victory shimmy, her wasted ass almost fell over backwards, and he tried his best to catch her. 

"Hey, sorry about that." She giggled as she tried to pull them both up. 

"Nah, it's ok." The crowd around them dispersed, heading off in their own directions, or going home in groups as to not get hit by traffic. "Hey, you should tell me that Nightwing story some time. As someone who grew up in Gotham, I'd love to hear about how you kicked the resident golden boy off a roof."

"Psh, he wasn't that remarkable." She rolled her eyes. "Could use a bit of work, if anything."

"I think I like your opinions."

He figured he could probably get used to hanging with this crowd. 


End file.
